"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

why do women rip you off? Because they like money

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

the sky is green no it is not

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

womens rights

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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