A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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