What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...