if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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