Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dick Cheney That's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops