What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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