what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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