Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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