Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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