So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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