I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

A penis walks into a bar..

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...