Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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