Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

Ms Leong Sux

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

Okay.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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