Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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