How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

What do you call a banana? A banana.

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

Whats funnier than 24, 69

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

What's old and wrinkly? old people

why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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