What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

speak now or forever hold your pee

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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