What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops