How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

im gey

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +16

bologna

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops