a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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