How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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im gey

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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bologna

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Knock Knock. Go Away!

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops