How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Boys and girls, I only have a few seconds left, and I am going to take these few seconds and teach you.... the longest story in the Universe! You may think this show is all fun and games, but you are in school! And this is an educational program! And there will be a test! And you will be graded on that test! And that grade will go on your permanent record! And your permanent record will follow you around for the rest of your life!!! So, you better pay attention. It goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." 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And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." An

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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What's just not right? Left

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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