How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Penis

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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