Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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