Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Man U

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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