Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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This isn't funny.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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