The turd said crazy turd so many cows have ninety two ears and it walked away to the store and drank doors while juggling feces and racist jack-o-lanterns.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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