Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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View Terms of Service

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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