Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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