A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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