Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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