A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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