Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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guess what what ...

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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