What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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