How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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