Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops