What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

Please ignore this statement.

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

penis

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...