What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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