What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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jews

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Maths.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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How about that airline food?

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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