Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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The Labour Party.

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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