Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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A man was shot. He died.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

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FATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLE FATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPE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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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