a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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How do you end a sentence

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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