A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops