A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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