Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

what is worse than a guy pissed?

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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