Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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