- Anti Joke

What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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