Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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knock knock go away

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American healthcare.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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Men's rights

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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Laura Pratz..

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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