Why Did the throw up He was sick

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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