Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Barbara Streisand

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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