What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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your mom.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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kkkk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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