What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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guess what? bannanas

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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A van drives into a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops