Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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