What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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