A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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