How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

If you're happy and you know it get a life

women's rights, lol

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

A pope meets another one

You know whats annoying? Steve

What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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