What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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